The only person who can change me is me.
I know this and remind myself of it frequently, but I still remain in a state of stagnancy. Sitting on my bed surrounded by physics papers and textbooks is not the same as studying. I know this and scold myself for slacking off. I know that come tomorrow night, I will be wishing I had studied now. I will wish that I had studied this weekend. But all the same, here I sit, typing away on this blog. My father asked me to clean the house for him, and though he could arrive home at any time tomorrow, the house is a disaster. Granted, it is mostly other people’s messes, but that is no excuse. I owe it to him to clean those messes up.
Tanning outside is unhealthy. I tell myself that my pale skin is fine, that I am happy with it. Yet, I long to be sun-kissed and therefore lay out with my sister in the backyard though sunburn dangers threateningly over my head. I don’t like the way my stomach looks, my arms, or my thighs, but I don’t exercise in the slightest. I know that I need to be making money, yet I don’t have a real job and haven’t put in any effort to get one.
The only person who can change me is me, and I better start working on it.
